Come back
by flowerblanket
Summary: Skye keeps talking to Jemma every afternoon. Some things need a long time to be accepted


Life is all about accepting. How you accept it, is how you deal with it. Sometimes we need to accept, even if we don't understand. Even if it rips us apart. What you don't accept will haunt you for a long time. So be brave and accept what you never thought you could.

When Skye got the news that her wife won't e_ver_ come back, she doesn't accept. Even as everyone told her that Jemma Simmons was no longer on the same planet as her, even as her son cried late at night, she doesn't accept, she doesn't accept it, because she didn't believe it. How could she?

Jemma is going to come back. She has a wife and a son. Shootings at universities were just things that happened far away.

And so Skye went every afternoon to the park where they had agreed to having a child. Every afternoon she sat on the same bench where Jemma once had looked at the stars, which were already shining down on them, and asked "Do you want to have children?" and that was the beginning of something truly wonderful.

And today Skye sat again on the bench and talked to Jemma. The air was colder than it was four hours ago and she wrapped the sides of her jacket tighter around her body.

„Jemma, I miss you so much. Sometimes it just comes over me and I feel stuck with whatever I am doing at that moment. Since you're gone the air isn't the same, the birds sing different melodies and my chest feels heavier than before. I knew that I love you, but I never knew that when you are gone you'd take my spirits with you. How can your science explain this? Wherever you are please come back"

* * *

„Jemma, our son is growing so fast. He looks more like you everyday, he has your hazel eyes, your smile, your eyes. It should make it easier, but it makes it harder. Sometimes it hurts to look at him, just because he reminds me so much of you. But then again I am grateful to still have a piece of you with me. Today we watched a documentation, something about plants. He was so fascinated by it, I think one day he's going to be a biochemist just like you, or something other nerdy. Gosh, he is so smart already. You would be proud of him, I am."

* * *

„I still see you sometimes. In burned candles, in the rain in front of my window, in our sparkling boys eyes."

* * *

„The flowers carry your scent, or did you carry theirs? You were sure more beautiful than a whole ocean of flowers. God was graceful as he made you. Maybe that's why he wanted you back so early. I never liked sharing you with anyone"

* * *

„And to live is hard and beautiful, it hurts and makes you happy, living means you're going to face situations over and over again where you think you cannot make it through them. But at the end of the day you are always going to bed with a smile on your face, because you can say „I made it". I hope I can say it when you are finally coming back, and I no longer have to bear the burden of your absence"

* * *

„I never dared to visit your tombstone. That would have to request that I accept your... absence.

And I'm not ready for that. I don't think I will ever be ready for that. I hope you don't mind. I hope you weren't disappointed that I wasn't at your funeral. I never saw the point in having speeches about your death. I know you will come back, it's okay. Take your time. Matt cried so much that day. I have never seen him crying so much. He wanted me to come with him. Your dad, who came from England with your mom, yelled at me. He said I wasn't a good wife to you, and that I wasn't worth your love. He said I am a coward for not showing up, just like everyone did. But they just don't understand, Jemma. You will come back to me, right? Then they will see why I didn't come to a „funeral". Because you are going to come back to me and our son. I look forward to the day you are"

It rained as Skye got up from the bench, and it still rained as she unlocked the door to their house. And it still rained as Skye was laying in bed, playing with her phone. Jemma would have told her to put it away. To go to sleep and to cuddle with her. It's been a long time since she did.

* * *

„Hey Jemma, you won't guess what happened today. I was with Matt out shopping, he needed new shoes since he tore his old ones apart, hell, you have a real wild one here, and we saw a punk sitting with his dog and he wore a leather jacket with spikes on his shoulders and he just had to touch them, he stopped and looked at him and Matt's smile, God, it was so precious. It is definitely yours, his eyes glance the same way yours do and he just asked the punk „Can I touch them?" without hesitation or anything and the man replied with a smile „Yes of course". This scene was just so cute, I wish you had seen it. Matty insisted on paying for ice cream for the man, as I explained to him, that the man is poor and basically living on the streets. He also gave all his pocket-money to him, with which he actually wanted to buy some action figure. He hugged him and I never have been so proud."

* * *

„Since you're away my heart doesn't beat quite the same. Nothing gets my heart raced like your touch does. Sometimes I wonder how it still works."

* * *

„I got a promotion today! Wow, that means I'm kinda the boss, but I'm still doing my regular programming things, you know. But I'm mostly happy, because that means getting more money per month, which means I may be able to actually buy the plane tickets to South Africa. I want to take Matthew there, since he's totally obsessed with lions. It's his biggest wish at the moment, besides, you know, being a superhero. They have a big cats park in SA with lions, tigers, cheetahs and leopards"

* * *

„Some things just don't work without you. Matthew asked today how it works that there are so many stars shining in the same sky, I didn't know the answer"

* * *

"Even in the coldest of winters, in the nights of summer where you can't sleep because it's so hot, when you're crying in the shower, when your heart bursts of happiness, when you break down, you should know my heart is no where else as with you"

* * *

„If I had known how little time we have, I had used it better. But then I think that lazily laying in bed on a Saturday, cuddling with you and our boy, could have not been used better."

* * *

„I love you, I have nothing more to say today."

* * *

„Baby! Happy eight years. I have flowers for you. Our little boy plucked them today. They're red and yellow and purple. Babe, I miss you so much. Do you remember as we celebrated our third anniversary? You were two months pregnant. Hell, I was so scared. I wanted the kid, out of question. But I was just the little orphan, and you grew up so loved and protected. I never would have thought that I am capable of being a mother, but you taught me. You taught me more things than you will ever know. I remember painting on your stomach that day, it was such a small, cute bump. I used all the happy colors, and soon your belly was covered in yellow, red, orange, blue, pink and green paint. I can't say I hoped for a boy, but oh well... the thought of a little nerd version of you was just too cute. I couldn't wait to watch him grow up with you, see him learn new things, develop new passions, bringing his first girlfriend home. But I always imagined it do it with you."

* * *

„I really just want an explanation, a reason, I want to know why, so come back and tell me. Come back and tell me. Tell me what you never said, I will tell you what I never said"

* * *

„Forever regretting that we didn't give him a middle name, it would've been so funny to mock him when he's older"

* * *

„This is the last time I'm speaking to you, Jemma. Or whatever I thought I was speaking to. Today Matt said he wished for you to come back and see his soccer match. And I said that one day you're going to see it, when you came back, of course. And he took my face in his tiny hands and said that you're dead. He didn't say anything else. „Mom, is dead" and I cried. The first time since your absence I cried because I knew it was true. You know what our boy did? He wrapped his arms around me and held me for, I don't know, hours. He comforted me, as I accepted your death. He didn't cry, he didn't say anything, our five-year old comforted me. And I realised how much of a fighter he is, how he comforted me, even if I should have comforted him, I left him deal with your death on his own. But he's still so strong. It's hard to say it out loud, that you're.. dead, I mean. But I have accepted it now, and I will be forever grateful for our years, for the love you gave me and of course, the biggest gift you ever gave me, our son. I will never forget you. I promise I make a man out of our tiny boy. I love you"

* * *

"Mommy, does she hear me?" the little boy asked

"Yeah"

"How do you know?"

"I can feel it" There was silence before he spoke again

"Mom, I miss you really much. And mommy does too. I wish you could see the walls in my room, mommy and I painted them! They're so cool now!" he took a deep breath "I have a balloon for you, I hope it makes you happy"

His fist released the red balloon and they saw it fly towards the big, dark Sky. Skye smiled at Matthew and he smiled back as she took his hand in hers.

Together they walked out of the park. Big drops of rain were slowly falling down on them. Skye looked one last time over her shoulder and spotted the red balloon.

_Someday we will meet again, but before I will take care of our boy. I love you forever and always_


End file.
